Does it feel the same?
by letitbe1250
Summary: A little angsty twist on what happened when Rayna came to tell Deacon that she was going to pick Luke. Deacon wants to know how it feels with Luke? One shot.


**Only my second FF so please review!**

 **Just a little idea that I couldn't get out of my head.**

 **The characters are obviously not mine. Enjoy!**

Rayna took Deacon's hands in her own.

"The way things are right now...this is how they're gonna need to stay."

Deacon could tell that she was saying a line she had practiced on her way over here. He knew she loved him. He knew that she was saying and doing what she thought was best. He also knew he wasn't going to let her go that easily this time. He leaned down and gave her hand a gentle kiss, right on her ring finger. He didn't ask why she wasn't wearing Luke's ring. He kissed the spot where several rings had now been, but his was the first. He kissed that spot so that any ring to ever be put there would be tarnished by his lips. He kissed the inside of her wrist. He knew she liked that spot. Her skin was sensitive there and everytime he touched it, her skin would shiver in response.

Using their connected hands to his advantage, he slowly walked her backwards until she was at the wall. She braced for him to do something more, for him to kiss her hard or bury his face in her hair. Instead, he released her hands and stood there. An inch of space between them, Deacon looked into her eyes. He grabbed her eyes with his and didn't waver. She was glued to the spot, her eyes unable to look anywhere but into his. Their bodies were just apart enough to where they weren't physically touching but the tension between them was suffocating. Rayna was drowning in him.

"Deacon...don't do this." She whispered softly.

She could feel every word on her skin as he whispered back, almost too quiet to hear, "Do what, Ray?" He continued to keep their eyes locked, "I'm not even touching you. Now you tell me you don't feel this, and I'll let go."

Rayna squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to stop tears from falling, before opening them again. She was gasping, trying to catch her breath. She felt like she was underwater. Her mind was cloudy and all she could see was him. He was staring straight through her. The heat between them was pulsing, rising. The entire room, the world, disappeared and all she could feel was Deacon. He was standing in front of her, looking at her, and she was falling apart. Tears were streaming down her face but she didn't even try to stop them. Deacon pushed his way through the haze and she could see his face getting closer to hers. She closed her eyes and she felt a kiss so light on her cheek. It was so gentle that she first thought she imagined it but then she felt another, and another. She tried, unsuccessfully, to catch her breath and he kissed away each tear with a feather-light kiss. The more tears he kissed, the more would fall. Deacon brought his face back around to look at her.

"Look at me...and tell me you're gonna marry someone else, again."

Rayna tightened her eyes closed even more. She was full on crying now. Deacon knew she could never look him in the eyes and tell him without knowing that he would see her hesitation. As she cried, he gently tucked a hair behind her ear. Her skin on fire as his hand brushed her ear. He grabbed the edge of her jeans, right above the front pocket, and pulled them down about 3 inches on one side. He looked down at her now exposed hip bone. He knelt down and looked at the word tattooed there, in almost microscopic script: eternity.

He ran his finger lightly along it, tracing each letter slowly and gently. He took his time, memorizing it for the hundredth time just in case he never got another chance. He could see her skin begin to goosebump as his breath made her skin shiver. A tear fell down his cheek as he leaned in and kissed the word, just a quick peck. Rayna broke down at his kiss. She grabbed the back of his head with both arms and held him to her lower stomach. They were both crying now, him with his arms wrapped around her hips and his face buried in her skin. He could feel her whole body trembling as she cried and he clung to her as they cried together.

They stayed that way for a long time, until they had cried so much that no more tears would fall. Rayna was emotionally drained and her legs could no longer hold her. She slid down the wall until she was on her knees, level with Deacon now. She leaned her forehead onto his as they tried to find a way to breathe. Deacon leaned down and pressed his cheek to her chest and wrapped his arms around her torso. After a moment, he said to her, "Does he make your heart beat like this?"

His voice indicating that it was a genuine question. He wasn't trying to upset her, he was just curious. Fresh tears began to fall from Rayna's eyes and she didn't know how she had any left. She slowly snaked her hand to rest of the back of his head, holding him to her. Now, Deacon was wondering about other things too.

"Does he kiss you here," He touched her hip where the word was etched, "or does he pretend its not there?" She tightened her lips. She didn't know what answers he wanted to hear, which answer would hurt him the least. But then he asked the question she really didn't want him to, "Do you pretend it's not there?"

Rayna took in a deep breath, trying to think of something, anything, to say. The tears were still coming. He lifted his head up to look at her. His eyes were puffy and he looked so defeated. He looked up into her equally puffy eyes, her whole face a little splotchy from crying so much. He decided not to push her to answer that particular question. He knew she didn't how to answer. He moved his head and ran his lips lightly along her jawline and neck, never settling at one spot. She took in a long, shaky, breath. He finally stopped at a spot on her neck, just below her jawline, right in front of her earlobe. He kissed her there and her breath hitched.

"Does he know about this spot, Ray?" His breath on her neck was making her whole body feel warm and fuzzy. "Did you show him your favorite places to be kissed?" He ran his finger along her collarbone, another favorite. "Does he kiss you there? Do you think of me?" Now Deacon was getting upset. His voice was getting a little more heated with every question. His voice was shaky and he could feel more tears coming again. He tried to look at her but she was looking at the ground, trying to think of something to say. He just wanted her to look at him. " What about in bed? Do you do the same positions with him that you did with me, Ray?" She looked up at him, surprised that he was taking it this far. He knew he had her attention now. "Does he do them better than me? Huh, Ray? Is he better than me?" Rayna was crying again.

"Deacon...please. You know this is hard for me."

Deacon raised his voice now. "It's hard for me too! You don't think it's hard for me too, Rayna? Every time I see him kiss you, I wonder if it feels the same. Does it feel the same when he kisses you? Does it make your heart feel like its gonna burst?"

"I..I don't, I don't..."

"Does it feel better than when I kiss you?"

"I don't know!"

"You do know, Rayna! You do know, just say it!"

Rayna was crying and shaking her head. Deacon grabbed her face with both of his hands. She opened her mouth to say something but Deacon crushed her voice with his lips. His lips silenced any words she could have said as he pressed them deeply into hers. He went slow and pulled her face into his. He forced his tongue between their lips until it met up with hers. Then he quickly drew it back, to Rayna's surprise. He bit down on her bottom lip and dragged it toward him releasing it. Immediately, he trapped it again between his lips and gave it a quick suck to soothe his bite marks. Finally, he released her lip and she sat there, gasping for breath. The kiss had lasted for 10 seconds, maybe, and she couldn't catch her breath.

"Well," Deacon asked, "does it feel the same?"


End file.
